Abortion steals power from women: my thoughts on a post-Roe world

Somebody needs to say it: it is not illegal to receive treatment for miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, or any other reproductive emergency in Missouri. 

It is, however, illegal to perform an elective abortion. 

It is illegal to perform them even in the cases of rape or incest. About 1% of abortions are performed for those tragic reasons. They are the extremely rare exception.

Failure to provide for these exceptions is so unpopular, I predict Missouri state legislators will change it. I would be very surprised if they don’t. 

Since the Dobbs verdict, the decision is each state’s to make, and in Missouri in 2022, all elective abortions are illegal. 

Ninety-nine percent of elective abortions are performed as birth control. This is the issue we should debate. Emotional stories about exceptions and medical emergencies are an insidious distraction from the reality of a post-Roe world. 

If you are ready to have that conversation, keep reading. 

I have my own emotional story to share to prove my point.

The term “crisis pregnancy” is a dangerous misnomer. I’m not being flip when I assert every pregnancy is a crisis, at least in part. Even under the best circumstances, a very much desired pregnancy is a complicated puzzle. Yes, even for me, a happily married woman who desperately wished for children, every single one of my five pregnancies could be described as a crisis. 

My first pregnancy ended in a life-threatening miscarriage when my husband had recently lost his job, and our car was in the shop. 

My second pregnancy came at the lowest point in our marriage, at a time that was almost the end of us. 

My third was a complete surprise. I can’t even say it was unplanned because I didn’t believe I could have more children. We were living our dream of homesteading with savings running out and no income to speak of.

Our financial circumstances weren’t much improved for my fourth pregnancy, which also ended in miscarriage. 

My most recent pregnancy came at a time when I had just started to expand the newspaper business, and I was scared. I panicked daily, both afraid of another loss and how I would manage a baby and a newspaper. 

The idea that a “crisis pregnancy” is an insurmountable obstacle between a mother and her dreams, is frankly an insult to women. It’s an insult to what we can achieve. It’s an insult to what working mothers in America are achieving every day. 

Easy access to abortion steals power from women. 

I didn’t have to persevere. There were hundreds of good reasons why it was inconvenient to carry those babies; why it continues to be inconvenient to care for three small humans while chasing my dreams. I didn’t have to climb the mountain of motherhood every day before I tackle any other goals. I had a “right” to choose.

But I did persevere. And I’m not special. I’m not stronger or better than other women. I just happen to believe it’s wrong to take a life to suit my own goals. I believe I had already made my choice, and I had a responsibility to answer for the consequences.

So, I did what had to be done. I claimed my power. I made a plan. I found the resources, and I have three messy, naughty, wonderful, beautiful children. 

Now, I promised an emotional story, and here’s the part that no one seems to believe.

Abortion also steals joy. Not only from women, but from the community, the nation, from history. 

If you know me, I bet you’re surprised to hear me describe my children and pregnancies the way I have. That’s because, except for those moments of doubt and fear, Ron and I have found each child to be a source of unbelievable joy. 

My children infuse every hour of every day with purpose and a limitless love. They are funny and strange. They make me laugh. They make me proud. When 14-month-old Joey is riding along for my workday, he leaves a wake of happy people everywhere we go. Children spread joy. 

Joseph himself is almost unaccountably happy. Always smiling and content, his personality is a complete surprise. Based on my other children, and my and Ron’s temperaments, I could never have predicted such a joyous little boy. This brings me to my final point.

When you snuff out the life of a child because of the difficult circumstances of the pregnancy, you are cutting down all the potential that life may hold. 

Mothers miss out on the sweetness of infancy. Fathers miss out on the joy of raising small kids. The community misses out on whoever that child could have been. More than 63 million pregnancies have ended in legal abortion since Roe v. Wade. Our nation is poorer for the loss of those children, many of whom would be productive members of society today. 

If we respect women, we must put an end to the lie that a “crisis pregnancy” is beyond their power to solve.

Yes, pregnant women will experience difficult circumstances. Some pregnant women may be in actual crisis: homeless, abused, destitute, or addicted. How dare we say to these women that they cannot overcome? How dare we suggest infanticide as a solution to their problems? How dare we suggest that infanticide is their right?

It’s a twisted narrative that purports to serve and support women but instead steals their power and their joy.